Temari's Secret
by wellhellothere
Summary: Temari's got a secret and she can't tell her boyfriend Shikamaru. How will she cope? And how will Shikamaru react when he finds out? Lemon.


Shikatema Oneshot

Temari's Secret

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

It's hard keeping secrets. And lying to people you care about. And knowing that they have the right to know your secret but you're too cowardly to tell them the truth.

I had to keep a secret from my boyfriend. And it was hard. I knew that he trusted me but I still lied to him.

I told him that I was going to meet Tenten. But really, I was going somewhere else. I was going to a small clinic. Actually, it was Tenten who recommended the place to me, after I told her my secret.

"It's a nice place," she had said, "the people there are really kind and they understand what you're going through. They respect your privacy and everything is confidential. So no one will ever know about it unless you tell them. I promise, Temari. They're trained professionals. It's okay."

But I still wondered if it was okay to be doing this. I didn't think that it was fair. I couldn't bear the thought of Shikamaru never knowing and being oblivious to it for his entire life. He had the right to know but I hadn't got the guts to even _try_ to tell him!

"I'll be back in an hour or two, okay Shikamaru?" I said to him as I walked out of our kitchen.

"Kay." he replied quietly before turning around to look at me. "Temari, are you sure that you're okay? You've been acting weird lately. Is anything wrong?"

Great. More lies. "Yeah, of course I'm fine! What would make you think any different?"

"I dunno. You've been quiet recently and you don't really talk about stuff anymore. Did I do something wrong? I mean, are _we_ okay?"

I sighed and hugged him. He smiled, but I could tell he was still worried about me. I just left and made for the clinic. I'd talk to him when I got home.

* * *

The clinic was clean and quiet. I walked up to the reception desk where a young man sat. He wasn't much older than myself. He smiled up at me and asked for my details.

"Are you here for a consultation or-"

"Consultation." I said quickly, like I was in a rush. For some reason I found myself whispering. Like I didn't want anyone to know that I was there. Like I was ashamed of what I was doing.

"Your name?" he asked, still smiling, but perhaps more sympathetically now.

"Te-" I suddenly remembered Tenten's advice. "Tamake."

"Take a seat." he replied, gesturing to the unoccupied seats in the waiting room.

I sat down. Glancing around quickly, I saw that there were more people there then I expected. There were two girls, who looked only about sixteen, sitting to my right wearing school uniforms. I felt so sorry for them. To my left, sat a middle-aged woman who seemed to be asleep. In the corner, sat a few young women, about my age, crying. And opposite me sat a girl cuddled up to a young man. She was sobbing too while her boyfriend (I assumed) rubbed her back to console her. That reminded me of Shikamaru. And I suddenly felt very cold and alone.

* * *

"Hi there, I'm Kina. Tamake, is it? Here for a consultation?" Kina asked as I entered her office.

"Yeah." I sat down, shaking a little.

"May I ask you why you are here? And remember, don't worry. This is completely confidential." Kina said, smiling constantly.

"Well, I'm…erm…" it was the first time I had admitted it out loud; Tenten had figured it out by herself, so I never had to actually say those two words aloud. "I'm…pregnant…"

"Yes…"

"Well, my friend said that you do confidential abortions here and I think it's the only way…"

"Why do you want an abortion, Tamake?"

"Because, my boyfriend, he doesn't know. I couldn't tell him! He's only sixteen…I don't think he's ready for that kind of relationship yet. He'll leave me if he finds out! I love him. I don't want him to break up with me because he doesn't want a baby!" I felt a lump grow in my throat and composed myself before continuing. It hurt so much to say all this. I knew that I had to tell him but he was still just a kid. "It's all my fault anyway!"

"Why would it be all your fault, Tamake? After all, it takes _two _to tango."

I sighed. I had never actually answered that question before. I just knew, I just_ knew_ that it was my fault. "It was my idea to make love in the first place." I murmured, blushing furiously. I didn't usually discuss my _sexual_ relationship with strangers very often. "And I knew my boyfriend wasn't using contraception. But I still let him continue. It was my decision. I knew what the consequences would be."

0o0o0o0FLASHBACK0o0o0o0

I moaned as he nibbled my nipple. Wow, for a lazy bum, Shikamaru was good! He gripped me tight as we kissed. I felt myself getting wetter and wetter by the second and I knew there was no going back now.

He slipped off the final piece of my clothing; my underwear. I moaned again as he messaged my inner thigh. I thought about asking him to stop, but I knew I wanted this just as much as he did.

I mentally prepared myself for the pain. He started to nibble my earlobe and kiss down my neck. Groaning, I massaged his member, causing it to harden more. He moaned my name. I grinned. I loved it when he said my name like that.

Moving away from our embrace, he directed his attention to the lower half of my body. I whimpered when he began to do unspeakable things to me. My moans became louder as I reached my first climax. He chuckled when he saw me thrashing my head from side to side in an attempt to suppress the urge to scream with pleasure.

As he licked up my juices I grabbed his shoulders and tried to pull him back up so I could 'thank' him for relieving me. But he just swatted my hands away, evidently enjoying the taste. Eventually, he rose up and wrapped his arms around me again. He leant forward and asked in a whisper: "Do you want me to stop?"

I replied by wrapping my legs around his waist. He slowly pushed himself inside. I growled when I felt the pain. He kissed my cheek as he began to thrust in and out, a little faster each time. A little harder each time. We continued like this for a while and then all I remember is feeling like I was in heaven. All the while knowing full well what I was getting myself into.

0o0o0o0END OF FLASHBACK0o0o0o0

Kinajust smiled. Unknown to me at the time, she heard this everyday. "Would you like surgery, or I can give you medication that you take at home, or-"

"I'd like the surgery." I said. I couldn't take the medication in case Shikamaru found out. Surgery was the best option. Tenten had said the same.

"When would you like it?" she asked, glancing at her computer. "You can have it today, if you like…"

"Would tomorrow be alright?" I asked and she nodded, beginning to type some things on her computer. She handed me a leaflet about contraception and some papers that explained the surgery and another that had my surgery times on and loads of phone numbers for me in case I needed help afterwards.

"Right then, see you tomorrow, Tamake." she waved me goodbye and I left feeling slightly better.

I waved goodbye to the receptionist as I passed by. He waved back and then beckoned me over. "Your coat! You left it by your chair!" he said.

I walked over and took it from him and spied a bumper pack of contraception stuff. I picked it up to look at it. The receptionist said that it was free if I wanted it. I smiled and stuffed it into my handbag.

'_No more chances. I've got to take care of myself if I don't want to end up here again.'_

* * *

I lay in bed next to Shikamaru that night. His eyes were closed, but I knew he was awake. His arms were wrapped around my waist as he nuzzled into the back of my head. I lay on my side, staring out of the window. My thoughts were racing through my head and my stomach ached with nerves.

Shikamaru tightened his arms around my waist. The heat of his arms soothed the sick feeling I had in my stomach. It was like he knew about his baby and was protecting it. It hurt when I remembered that he didn't have a clue what was going on.

I groaned and rolled over to face him. His eyes snapped open as he heard the sound. His eyes were brimming with concern.

"What's wrong? Do you want me to let go?" he asked quickly.

"No…I…it doesn't matter…" I sighed. "Just go to sleep."

For some reason, he looked hurt. I searched his eyes for an explanation, but he turned away before I could figure out what was wrong.

"Temari, this isn't working out, is it? You don't love me, do you?" he turned to look at me. "You've been acting so different…so distant. You don't even kiss me anymore. And when I kiss you…you either turn your head so I get your cheek…or you move away all together!"

Actually, when I thought about it, I had been kind of sending out the message that I didn't want to be with him anymore. But really, I only pulled away because I either didn't feel well or I was too ashamed of myself for lying to him to let him kiss me; I didn't think that I deserved him.

"Don't you love me anymore, Temari?" he repeated.

I forced a smile onto my face and cuddled up to him. "I do love you, Shika. I just haven't been feeling too good recently, that's all." I lied (another lie…must be some kind of record!).

He hugged me back, but he didn't smile. He either didn't believe me or he was concerned because I didn't feel well-I _hoped_ it was the latter.

* * *

The next morning, I left before Shikamaru woke up. I did feel guilty because I knew he would be worried. But I just needed to get this over and done with.

I met up with Tenten on my way back to the clinic. I asked her if she would come…for moral support. I was so glad she was going to be there; I needed some reassurance.

Tenten had had to have an abortion when she became pregnant with Neji. She had decided that an abortion would be the right choice because she and Neji weren't married and Neji was too busy with his job to help out with a baby.

I really admired Tenten for doing all this by herself…without anyone there to comfort her. I knew that I would never have been able to do it alone.

* * *

Before I knew it, I was being wheeled into the theatre on a hospital bed. Tenten had wished me luck and really tried hard to reassure me…but I still had my doubts.

I lay there on the bed. I saw the needle coming towards me. I began to panic.

'_Why am I here again? Do I really want to do this? Is this right? Why don't I want the baby? What would Shikamaru do? What would he say?'_

The needle kept getting nearer. I tried to shake my fears off, but they wouldn't just go away.

'_What if something goes wrong? And Tenten has to tell Shikamaru. He'd hate me! This isn't right. It doesn't feel right. I can't let this happen!'_

"I can't do it." I said quietly. "I can't do this. I can't do this to Shikamaru and I can't do this to my baby!" I started to weep. _'MY_ _baby. I've never called it MY baby before.' _I thought. _'It's always just been 'THE' baby or 'IT'. But it is my baby. And that means I have to take care of it. It's my mission now. Whether Shikamaru stays with me or not.'_

No one in the theatre seemed surprised. I supposed that a last minute change of mind was common when it came to abortion.

* * *

Tenten sat next to me on the way home in the taxi. I stared at my hands the whole time. I couldn't think of any way of telling Shikamaru without losing his trust. And I felt so ashamed of myself; I couldn't believe that I had chickened out at the last minute.

"It'll be okay." Tenten said, gently squeezing my shoulder.

'_I hope so…'_ I thought.

* * *

I stepped inside my apartment and sighed when I looked in the mirror that hung on the wall in the hallway. My eyes were red, my lips were dry and my hair was windswept and wet from the rain.

Then I saw Shikamaru standing behind me in the mirror. He stared at me through it, his eyes were wide with shock and concern.

"Temari…?" he breathed. I burst into tears and he ran up to me. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my neck as I cried.

"Shikamaru, I'm so sorry!" I grabbed his hands and held them tight as I wept. "You said I've been acting different. And yes, I have…but not because I don't love you…it's because I don't want to lose you! I've been angry with myself because I've been abusing your trust. I've been lying to you all this time Shikamaru. I'm so sorry! I should trust you enough to tell you the truth but even now I can't find the right words to say."

In an attempt to make him understand, I brought his hands to my stomach and held them there. He gasped in realisation. "You're…?" he began. I cut him off when I turned to bury my face in his chest.

Suddenly he took hold of my shoulders and pushed me away. "So you're saying that you didn't tell me that you are carrying my child because you thought I would _leave_ you. Or even _hate_ you?"

"Yeah…I thought-"

"Temari, baby, from now on, just leave the thinking to me." he sighed chuckling. He pulled me in close and kissed my head. "And Temari? Never _ever_ scare me like that again. I thought something _bad_ had happened!"

* * *

**So, thanks for reading. Just to let you know, I have nothing against abortion. This is just a story so I hope no one gets offended! **


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